un⋅couth [uhn-kooth]
–adjective
Lacking in polish and grace.
gour⋅mand [goor-mahnd, goor-muhnd]
–noun
One who is excessively fond of good food and drink.
the 10 uncouthgourmandments
I. Thou shall covet thy neighbor’s food.II. If at the end of a meal one is not unbuckling belt, one is not done eating.
III. Thou shall not leave a stingy tip.
IV. Thou shall not dabble in veganism.
V. Thou shall not turn thy nose up at eateries with drive-thru’s or that are on wheels.
VI. When ordering, never be afraid to personalize a meal.
VII. When the option arises, always go larger, full-size or super size.
VIII. Thou shall use any means to put food in thy mouth; whether it be a silver spoon, bamboo chopsticks, plastic spork, or one’s own hands. The 3-second rule can be extended for any period of time.
IX. Thou shall not ever use the word uncouth like it is a bad thing.
X. Thou shall remain faithful to the ones that gave you the title of Uncouth Gourmand.
- Josie
- UGs Defined
- overeducated.underpaid.
- 10 Uncouth Gourmandments
